whims of a server

Having waitressed for a few years now in the UK,

I always think that I've managed to get to grips with the usual and general demands of the fussy public.

No ice/ no lemon in my drink. 

OK.

No tomato/lettuce/onion/ or anything green-looking in my plate.

  Sure.

Make sure my steak is cremated/moo-ing on the plate. 

Got it.

Can I have a skinny latte?

Sorry we only have full cream milk.

Every now and then though, someone will come and throw me off guard with particular requests:

Can I have a mint chocolate milkshake, but with no mint?

Um... we use mint ice cream as it is...mint chocolate milkshake.

Can I have an ice tea, with no ice?

Can I have an ATM (avocado, tomato, mozzarella) burger, with no avocado?

Most recent of all..

Is your cheesecake vegetarian?

Sorry, wha-? Um (confused) I would think it is! There's only the usual milk, eggs and cream cheese in it which should be fine unless you're a vegan...?

(My colleague told me that I should have said "Of Horse!"- an homage to last year's horse meat  scandal found in beef in most UK supermarket products)