Lady wanted to surprise her husband on his birthday and got me to secretly stick a sparkler into his dessert. As I came out with the dish singing "happy birthday" with the sparklers fizzing all over the dessert, he exclaimed
"Thank you! It's a good thing you didn't put 57 on there or the pudding would have been a bit warm!"
"I'm 46 and at that age where I think, screw it I'm gonna do it!"
Lady telling about ageing gracefully without fear.
"You're Malaysian!? Why is it that you have an American twang?"
"I have no idea, too much American TV...and I'm culturally confused."
"Don't worry darling, we all are. I'm supposedly English and born in England and I'm confused!"
"Can I have a chicken Burrito please?"
Customer pronounces Burrito with the rrs rolled like a Latino whilst the entire table takes the mickey out of his sudden switch from British to South American accent. Two seconds later..
"Can I also have a Quesadalla please?"
Table roars in even bigger laughter at the sudden accent fail. (It's supposed to be Quesadilla (Keh-sa-diyya) but he pronounced it as Kuehsadala -_-)
"Can I have vegetarian water please?"
"Can I take you home with me?
"..."
"What time do you finish?"
"....Sorry, I'm not for take-away!"
"Do you have space for dessert?"
"Pfft I'm about to explode....
But he's fat! He might want some!"
"Oh no you've put us right smack in the middle of the restaurant! I'm going to have to apologise in advance because we're going to end up offending your other customers darling!"
-Lady of a hen night party walking in with a huge blown up balloon of a penis.-
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