Hello world, I am still alive
I've reached the point where sleep has become a nuisance: a want, not a need.
The bed and I have developed a love-hate relationship.
Often I smother it with drawings, books, scraps of paper, scalpels,etc,
and plug in my earphones at 4 in the morning so I won't see or hear its calling.
I must confess, a lot of the times I admit defeat and crawl under the mountain of crap just to be away with the fairies in dreamland for even just an hour.
Coffee and I have developed a toxic love-hate relationship.
Sometimes I crave for it so badly I can't even function; yet sometimes even the smell is enough to make me gag.
Stupid, addictive, caffeine.
I've become so psychologically dependent on you.
Every so often my boss threatens to confiscate my coffee stash.
"You and your bloody coffee trees Kimbers"
She claims what I make isn't coffee, and accuses me of infusing an entire forest of coffee 'trees in one mug.
I laugh and just tell her not to diss my coffee-making skills.
The Lovely Housemate has threatened to drug me if I don't start sleeping like a human being anytime soon. I just smile because I cannot imagine myself falling face first into her curry. She comes into the room hours later keeping tabs that I have been awake for 27 hours and tells me to go to sleep.
I tell her I will in a moment.
While I am speaking inside my skull a little pea sized matter we all know as the brain bursts into flames and disintegrates into dust.
I tell her I will in a moment.
While I am speaking inside my skull a little pea sized matter we all know as the brain bursts into flames and disintegrates into dust.
Colleagues at work have started labeling me the Machine.
Machine? (I laugh while spilling salsa involuntarily all over my crotch from shaky caffeinated hands)
No way!
Just as I laugh the squeaky dumbwaiter comes up with the wires dangling out of proportion: a sign that the food lift is in danger of breaking and in urgent need of servicing.
Shit, it's an omen!
Just as I laugh the squeaky dumbwaiter comes up with the wires dangling out of proportion: a sign that the food lift is in danger of breaking and in urgent need of servicing.
Shit, it's an omen!
Secretly, I suffocate this fear in me with an imaginary pillow case,
that I may one day break down beyond repair.
No, don't be crazy.
you'll be fine.
reassures this crazy demon called Architorture in my head.
cheekily, it whispers in the voice of my tutor:
"Looks like you sat your lazy arse in front of X Factor with your drawing board at 9am this morning."
Oh God. Listen to me.
All these stupid voices talking in my head.
I've definitely lost the plot.
Desperately counting the days to christmas break
(49 days, hurry up goddamit)
please pray for my sanity over the next 7 months.
Hello Kimmy. I was FB-stalking (this weekend had not an ounce of work in it) and came across a lecturer's comment on my friend's wall (also taking architecture). Part of the advice was "remember don't just endure the pain..enjoy it all at the same time..hehe.....wht ever chance that we have or experiences tht we go thru..it will be once and unique...", I thought I'd share that with you. It hit me quite a bit despite the fact that I'm nowhere near working as hard as you guys (+Muhsin, Icam, the juniors etc.) seem to be. ><
ReplyDeleteThen again a part of you might be enjoying all the coffee and high-from-lack-of-sleep-ness. :P Personally I'm always looking forward to cuti and cuti and cuti.
haha my dear neesah, i can assure you that i'm not really working as hard as it sounds, most of the time is wasted stressing or procrastinating..the real deal comes 8 hours before a submission when i get superhuman strength from god knows where to push myself lol.
ReplyDeletebut those words are true, i think architects are sadists, we secretly enjoy being tortured this way i think? lol.one thing's for sure architecture makes you realize what you can do to your body i.e. not sleep. cuti cuti sounds like heaven to me :)