eight legged nightmare

I don't understand what it is with me that I tend to attract creepy crawlies to my bed while I'm asleep. 

When I was younger cockroaches used to crawl into my blanket onto my leg while I was sleeping. 

I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling a weird walking sensation up my leg and I would just know that they were at it again. Instantly I would do a panic "get it off me!get it off me!" dance before running to wake my dad up. I wouldn't go back to sleep until I heard the satisfying whack or flush of a drowning cockroach. Even until their demise, I refused to crawl back into my own bed and would end up taking half the space in my parents' bed.

Once, I woke up in the middle of the night to find a millipede/gonggok curled up on my pillow next to my head. Strangely enough I woke up out of the blue in time to find it there. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if I hadn't woken up. 

To think that I would be rid of all these heebie jeebie moments in UK where flies, cockroaches and millipedes are pretty much non existent, I was not. Bloody hell, there are spiders everywhere!

Two years ago I woke up with bite marks on my hairline which swelled and stung for days. It was like having an external headache, and it was throbbing so much I actually had trouble concentrating! Needless to say, I went to the chemist to get me some numbing cream and was told that it was possibly a spider bite.

Today, after waking up from my 10pm nap I couldn't locate my phone under my duvet so I threw the covers back. And guess what I found? A spider the size of 20p crawling on the duvet where I usually nestled my face in! I was so mortified and in rage that I got the first novel out of my shelf (Yes Man) and beat the thing repeatedly to its death. Ruky used to be the compassionate one to let the spiders out of the house in a cup but nuh-uh, not me! Once bitten, twice silly. To people who think that spiders are innocent things that won't do you any harm--please. Children get bitten all the time in their sleep and some bites actually do develop into something bad!

Chinese have this belief that sometimes,  insects that come into your home and behave strangely are people who have long passed away who just want to pay you a visit. In my case, whoever is doing it better be coming in POLITELY and not crawl all over my face or they're not gonna be getting a gracious welcome from me!