It's a frustrating feeling when all your ambitious ideas fail to fall through because of time.
Having handed in my last two projects for my undergraduate degree I'm supposed to be ecstatic right now but instead I'm met with more anxiety (thanks to the week of camping out in the living room with minimal sleep. I have not slept in my bed for days) and disappointment that things didn't fall through the way i had hoped for.
Dissatisfied and frustrated. This all too familiar feeling is another reminiscence of last year's post hand in when I was so sure i was going to fail.I didn't, but would I be as lucky the 2nd time around?.I doubt it. I would fail myself if I were to grade my work. I have realised after 3 years that I am too much of a perfectionist when it comes to my projects:a self-imposed hazard because time is the perfectionist's enemy.
I could mope for days on end wishing I had more time, and an extension, to make my project half decent. I could pinpoint my fingers and blame events that have caused me to be in this state but I know there is no point wishing for what is now the past. It will only make things worse.
What's the worst that could happen? A resubmission. or possibly retaking the second half of the year next year. It's not a matter of life and death.
What's the worst that could happen? A resubmission. or possibly retaking the second half of the year next year. It's not a matter of life and death.
Just a prolonged graduation.
(and a little bit of self loath)
here's to hoping you'll do super fine.
ReplyDeleteI think we are all feeling that way, Kim. Just submitted a half-a$$ed technical report that is just ... quite shameful. I did contemplate applying for an extension, but considering the lack of a concrete excuse, and the fact that I still have more submissions to go, like they say -- berserah jelah.
ReplyDeleteJust remember to keep praying and hoping, there is always a chance. :) Never over till it's over, but even then like you said, not the end of the world, is it? Architecture is just like this... you'd think next time will be better, by 3rd year we'd be all wised up and mature and disciplined about workloads .... nope.
What seems like a bad thing may not really be one, and vice-versa.
Imma come down to Brighton once I'm done with stuff, okay Kim? :D It'll be so nice to meet you after 3 years?!?!!
thanks sarah, much needed and goodluck with ur stuff too! :)
ReplyDeleteNeesah: I know..thing is,nearly half my year had applied for extensions (i guess everyone had their way of finding an excuse). thats 30 people out of 80. and my tutor actually RAN OUT of extensions to give. ran out? lol! but to think about it, no extra amount of time give would complete my projects for me. seems like a psychological thing that the more extended your time, the more you tend to slack and procrastinate. more than likely i would still be in the same position :P
anyway, its over now :) verdict is 2nd week of july so till then i will just
enjoy the summer sun ;)COME HErE AFTER UR DONE!! :D
forgot to add, our tutor in 2nd year told us he failed his 3rd and 5th year..but he;s probably the brainiest guy i have ever met and he's amazing now. plus i doubt we'll start being real architects until we're 50 and have built many buildings that have gone wrong :) so failure is probably the painful but necessary procedure to be a successful one.
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